Phone fantasy conversations with your Telco

Pro-active #1
Phone Company: Good Morning Stephen, It's Karen here. I know that you normally deal with Simon as your account manager, but he's not on shift at the moment.  I've been looking at your file, and I noticed that you have a backlog of emails waiting to go out. Is that the reason for your call?

Phone Company: Good, I can fix that - I just need to reset something at our end, and you emails should be on their way in a moment.

Pro-active #2
Phone Company: I also notice that you phone usage has decreased over the last month. Would you like me to reset your contract to a lower monthly rate?

Overseas roaming
Phone Company: Your going overseas next month? Yes we can add roaming to your data plan to cover mobile overseas data - you will be charged at the same rate you are domestically, but there will be a one off $20 surcharge for the month. Is that OK?

Same charge whatever the device
Phone Company: Yes Stephen, you are correct, the charge for phone calls is the same on your cell, or mobile phone, as it is on your landline for calls anywhere in Australia. For phoning overseas, there is just an additional flagfall charged which is around $1 per call. And you are also correct about your data, the charges for downloads on your computer via your landline, wifi, your cellphone, and your iPad are all the same.

Phone contracts that are actually customer focused
Phone Company: Hi Stephen, just a courtesy call to tell you that the new iPhone 5 is expected to be launched here in June.  Would you like me to put you down to receive notification of when they are available?

Phone Company: Yes, you can have a new 6 month, 12 month, or 24 month contract including the new handset, or you can buy it outright, and stay on your no-contract agreement.

Any problem, you speak to one person who will solve your problem
Phone Company: No, I won't need to transfer you, I can deal with any sales, account, or technical questions you have. If there is any problem you raise that I can't answer immediately, I'll find the answer and call you back. Yes you are right, we don't believe in transferring you to 5 or more different people, because it wastes your time and ours.

Don't like the consultant - change to another one
Phone Company: No Stephen, we don't 'escalate' calls. I'm personally responsible for sorting out your enquiry in a reasonable time period like 24 hours or less. If I can't solve it to your satisfaction, in that time, then we will issue a credit to you automatically. If you are unsatisfied with my service, I can pass you onto a new Account Manager, who will call you once they have had time to familiarise themselves with your file.